


but there was something

by shanyuan



Series: into the burgisverse™ [4]
Category: Burgisverse
Genre: Apologies, Bittersweet, Confrontations, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:27:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28925814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shanyuan/pseuds/shanyuan
Summary: Zao was the first one who broke the silence; kicking off his shoes promptly before plopping himself down on the couch. “Correct me if I'm wrong, but we're saying sorry for all the wrong reasons, aren't we?”Heidi's eyes would widen in surprise that day, and so would Anica's. Nicholas would remain calm, as calm as he could possibly be.
Series: into the burgisverse™ [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2122821
Kudos: 2





	but there was something

Perhaps there was no clarity, even after they exchanged their misshapen apologies, but there was something. It was regret and hurt and slight satisfaction—it lingered around them and it framed the air until they could no longer feel the palpable beats of their frustration.

Zao was the first one who broke the silence; kicking off his shoes promptly before plopping himself down on the couch. “Correct me if I'm wrong, but we're saying sorry for all the wrong reasons, aren't we?”

Heidi's eyes would widen in surprise that day, and so would Anica's. Nicholas would remain calm, as calm as he could possibly be.

Clearing his throat, Zao runs a hand through his hair. “Why don't you start, Aliaksei?”

“What?” The blond's eyes flicker to meet Zao's dark brown ones in an instant, soon feeling the rest of their stares get plastered on his person. He sighs, crossing his arms, soon letting his eyelids flutter close.

“Cosmina,” he began, now lowering his head. “I'm sorry.”

Anica tilts her head to the side, pointing her forefinger towards herself. “Why are you saying sorry to me?”

If prior to Anica's question, Nicholas was apologizing for antagonizing her when she came home to Manila, then he'll change that.

“We were friends first right before you became Yang's ex.” Nicholas rolls his eyes, which were newly reopened, now confidently locking stares with Anica.

“But I never did hear you out,” Nicholas shrugs. “I keep thinking that maybe if I did, you two would still be together right now?”

Zao chokes on the water he was drinking right then and there, waving his hand frantically. _ “Dude.  _ I'm kind of in a happy relationship here.”

The rest of them bubble up with small laughter.

“You don't have to apologize for that, Sei.” The redhead takes a seat right next to Nicholas, ruffling his hair afterwards. “It worked out for the best, no? Zao's the happiest with Rebeka.”

“That's true,” Zao interjects, a goofy smile on his lips. “Sorry, Ani, but I'm glad we broke up?”

Cosmina shakes her head, huffing. “For what it's worth, I'm glad, too.”

“Alright! Why don't I go next?” Once again, Zao clears his throat, getting ready to speak.

“I'm sorry?” He croaks out, with an eyebrow raised. Zao looks at Heidi and Nicholas expectantly. “I fucked up back then, you know? I'm sorry for making you guys feel like we weren't friends anymore when I started dating Anica.”

If Zao's apology earlier was because he never loved Heidi back, then he would never admit it.

“Fucking finally,” Nicholas mutters, placing an arm around Anica as he shifts his body weight. Heidi was still standing straight near the exit, shoulders stiff, chin raised high. Nicholas looks at her once, before continuing.

“Nothing wrong with getting a girlfriend, Zao, but don't do that to your friends.” The tension in the room is light again, for once. “Give us  _ some _ reassurance that you aren't treating Raivis and Alfred like that,”

Zao sighs in displeasure; the familiar guilt eating up his insides. “I'm working on it.”

Solemn, disappointing, or however it may have felt, it was enough for now.

Anica would be the one who breaks the silence that came the second time around, tapping the marble floor with one of her rings.

“Well,” she takes a deep breath. “I'm sorry, as well. Zao, I was being unfair back then. And selfish. But at the same time...I never owed you an explanation, you know? Gods, wait. I'm sorry...? Because I'm not going to lie, I'm happy about you and 'Beka, but I'm upset about you.” Anica reaches out to take Zao's hand, drawing circles on his palm.

Anica, before her confession, apologized for breaking up with Zao; but like him, she would never admit that.

“I still feel like an outsider here?” She laughs bitterly, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. 

Zao softly retracts his hand, now taking his seat next to Aliaksei on the floor. 

“Fuck, you're right.” He replies, shrugging off his jacket. “Guess I turned a lot of people against you. I'll...work on that one as well. I'm sorry.”

The sound of Heidi's heels clicking against the floorboards echoes throughout the lounge. She walks her way towards them, soon clasping her hands behind her back once she was finally in front of them.

“I apologize.” Heidi scans the three of them one by one, searching for a reaction—but everything they gave her, she was unsatisfied with.

“Aliaksei, I never should have taken advantage of your feelings.” The volume of her voice gets significantly lower with each word she manages to say out loud; but still, it's audible, and that was enough.

“And you, Zao.” Heidi glares at him reluctantly, sucking in the insides of her cheeks. “I'm sorry, because I'm still so, so mad at you for disregarding us so easily like that.”

Something streams down her cheeks. She knew what it was, but she would never acknowledge it.

“I mean, until today, I guess.” Weakly, she shakes her head. “I have no reason to be mad anymore. Not when you're already trying to make up for it.” Slowly, she reaches out to take off her heels, taking a seat on the floor subsequently after.

“Anica...” Heidi pauses. “Cosmina. I'm sorry.”

If earlier, she was apologizing for attempting to ruin Anica and Zao's relationship back then, this time, she wasn't going to.

“I'm sorry for not being your best friend?” She says with uncertainty, wiping away her cheeks to rid them of the stains.

Anica gently breaks away from Nicholas, scooting closer towards Heidi to give her a long overdue hug. “Thank you, Irma. That means a lot.”

“And,” the Austrian starts again, clearing her throat. “I'm sorry, Aliaksei and Zao, for leaving without a word.”

The soft hotel music reverberated inside the lounge comfortably. There was still regret that clung onto the air, there was still hurt, but they knew they'd be leaving it all in this room today, and finally start taking breaths free of guilt and worry.


End file.
